queueing is hard to rhyme.

i am really sorry, i broke with my “tradition” of having incredibly amazing thread titles. i fucked it up. also, this update will contain hardly any photos. why? because its a fucking diary. a diary of madness. a diary of 14h of queueing for a goddamn ticket for an university-party. a university party where Millencolin is gonna be the main act. sweden, amazing. enjoy. (click on the pictures to make them bigger.)

19h02: we arrive at karallen, the place where we think the actual queueing starts. i walk into the giant room, see that its already STACKED with people. remember, its 13h before the actual start of the sale of tickets. we cant even start queueing, we have to go to another room to get a number in order to be able to enter the room where we have to queue. sweden, you are killing me.

19h08: we registered for the chance to start queueing for the sale of the tickets. even writing this sentence makes it sound stupid, and it is. we are waiting for our numbers to be yelled by some guy, so that we get lead to the queue, like cattle. like the ticket-craving-cattle that we are. our crew right now consists of lucien, hassan, shveta, adrien, kmille and me. more people should be inside already. i unpacked and repacked my bag. shveta wonders if we have a “charging facility” in the queueing room. she means a power-socket. hassan talks about discharging.

19h38: hassan, lucien and kmille are trying to translate the text of the german schlager-song “Schatzi, schenk mir ein Foto von dir” to french. we are still in the queue to get into the actual queue. the overall-spirit is quite good so far. but hey, thats what they said about Apollo-13 too, right?

19h40: “sex in the afternoon, syphilis in the morning.” Lucien Stolze

19h45: Pilar and Romina, the spanish ambassadors, join the queue. shortly after them, Markus and Max arrive. the traditional little-britain-anne-greet ÄHÄHÄH is shouted. everyone is happy.

20h01: we finally arrived at the spot where we can queue. its fucking crowded, we don’t find any seats, we sit on the ground. we have a power-socket right next to us. the mood is positive overall.

20h06: hassan and me open our first beer. the mood goes up. we discuss the possibility of a chatroulette-party down here. we start watching nyan-cat.

20h13: people are starting to get worried if we can leave the room for some time or not. apparently not everyone brought food. or cigarettes. people are starting to complain about the fact, that we have to sit on the ground. and that the ground isn’t comfortable. the overall mood starts to go into a downward spiral.
only 12h to go.

20h15: Markus´s shopping list: cigarettes and a lighter.

20h19: Shvetas jacket attacked me. i don’t feel safe anymore. everyone seems to be staring at me. they are all against me. they are out to get me. i know it. but i wont go down without a fight. i will take some of them with me.

20h14: i found a funny picture:

also, i don’t think that everyone is out to kill me anymore. i negotiated a ceasefire with shvetas jacket. aaah, peace. wonderful peace.

20h28: the women are alarmed: their laptops aren’t being charged. panic spreads. they broke the electricity. everything still fine here in the guys corner. of course we didn’t break our electricity. we can drive cars really good, too.

20h36: i´m starting to get bored. i take a look around, doesn’t help. according to markus, the “hemorrhoids start screaming.”

21h01: markus: “my ass is so cold.” lucien: “should i heat it?”

21h05: lucien “if you see a girl from normandie, just leave!”

21h06: simon and jonas arrive. their outlook for tickets isn’t very good.

21h15: skype-sessions start around me. adrien is working on an application for his internship. markus is playing with his wang. everyone is productive. i write this diary. you can interpret this as you wish.

21h26: i start writing my diary in this blog, not in a text-file. the differences are amazing. really. now i write in a web-browser instead of a text-editor.

21h32: i finally did something productive: i helped romina edit her video.

22h00: i start watching “chappelles show” from the first episode. only 10h to go. thats only 600 minutes. or 36000seconds. everyone is hyped.

22h14: hassan and me start watching the new sk8mafia video.

22h15: max built himself a nice hobo-hideout.

23h00: Markus: “i´m feeling like a brazilian girl.” only 9h left.

23h08: Klara, our fine czech girl that leaves tomorrow morning, showed up to spend the night with us here at this queueing-hell. so basically she is sitting on a chair while all of us are sitting on the floor and stare into our laptops. she loves it. she doesnt complain at all.

1h15: we just came back from a McDonalds-break. took us only about an hour. OF COURSE THERE WAS A FUCKING QUEUE, slowest service ever, fuck those guys. but i have coffee and a veggie-burger in my belly now, i am feeling better. the voices in my head are gone, and i dont want to kill everyone anymore.
i think.

great quotes from markus: “its big black tropical wood.” (haha, wood..), “you´re not getting my fist for that.”

only 6h45mins left.

1h48: i hear a crazy mix of spanish music, french jibberish, german board-game-talk plus some other voices that are telling me to set fire to the place, but i am not sure where they are coming from. also, i think that my socks are planning something. i keep watching them, but everytime i look away, i just know that they are up to something. only 2”2§hrs left. i can make it. if i fix this sock-situation. and thats not sure right now.

2h12: i just realized that the memory card of my camera has 6.66Gb space left. all hail the dark lord, i see your signs, and i will do thy bidding. if those goddamn socks would only stop making plans with that crazy pair of jeans that adrien wears. they are out to get me. i made myself the best movie-watching-device ever: a chair.

2h28: okay, i´m back, brain is kinda working again. i see people in sleeping bags all over the place, i guess everyone is smarter than me.

3h05: more and more people start sleeping. fuck them. i mean, not literally. i dont assault people sexually.


only 5h to go.

3h08: Lucien: “i´m only watching videos about animals. its great.”

3h19: the perfect time to start reviewing that paper i need to review for biochemistry. the floor is starting to get uncomfortable. the overall motivation goes down. usually we would´ve been kicked out of every club in sweden 20 minutes ago, we are not used to be active at this time anymore.

3h21: Klara is leaving. for good. finally. its not a good thing. its a sad thing. the pinkness will be dearly missed.

4h: only 4h to go, theoretically. my ass hurts, i envy everyone that has a cosy place to sleep. i look at them with disgust and hatred. they think they are better than me. everyone thinks that. i know it. i feel it. i smell it.

4h30: i started to prepare my presentation for wednesday. which basically means i created a master-template. my brain is starting to get really slow. fuck queueing. the overall mood is “fuck queueing”.

3 and 1/2h to go. maybe. but hey, who is counting, right?

4h46: i need some fresh air so i go outside to eat my sandwich. suddenly, a approximately 200year old swedish nordic-walker-guy nordic-walks by on the campus. his look tells me “what are you doing here at that time?” at this point, i honestly couldnt give an answer.

5h00: we start watching austin powers 3. it is now impossible to find a comfortable position, unless you managed to swag a place on the benches. the mood steadily goes down.

6h34: well, fuck me, that movie was a waste of time (well, there was one great quote: “its long, hard and full of seamen…” it was about a submarine.). but since we are wasting our time anyway, its kinda fitting, eh?

1 1/2h to go. the mood is kinda weird, people are waking up again, others are sitting/walking around like zombies.

6h38: we keep telling each other that we look like shit. and its true.

6h49: we have to leave our queueing space so that they can clean it. we now form a new queue, on the hallway in front of the main queueing-room. do i really need to explain anything about our mood right now? if you think so, you are a fucking idiot.
sorry, that was mean. but come one, its getting ridiculous. ridiqueuelous even.

7h53: Lucien: “i made a swedish haircut for my manpussy.”

8h10: the first people got tickets apparently, they are leaving the room. we look at them with disgust, like they were leper-victims. we still haven´t even entered the room where the tickets are handed out. we have treated ourself with some fine coffee and are being entertained by french stories of animalistic lovemaking. good times.

8h32: WE ENTER THE ROOM WHERE THE TICKETS ARE BEING SOLD. its like that first scene from “raiders of the lost ark”. we are so happy. so happy. only 100 people in front of us. amazing.

we have been queueing for 13 and 1/2h now. the mood is incredibly good. i think its mostly because our brains dont work properly anymore.


9h04: everone of us has his tickets. we survived. we are completely exhausted. believe it or not, that was the most emotional picture we could get.

I´m going to sleep, bitches. thank you for reading.
if you liked it, share it or drop me a comment.
if you didnt like it, well, then… YOUR MOTHER.

2 thoughts on “queueing is hard to rhyme.

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